It's the Penis, ya'll
Why ignoring female anatomy and the unique female experience hurts everyone and my thoughts on female only spaces
I am not here to attack or belittle anyone. I have a problem. It is personal, but I believe, valid.
In this new world we are living through, something has come up that I never addressed in therapy because I never, ever thought I would need to worry. It never crossed my mind that the "weaker" sex (physically and biologically) would have our rights to personal and private spaces laughed at or demolished.
When I was 3 years old, I was introduced to a grown man's penis. I was told I could touch it if I wanted. When I said I didn't want to do that, I was forced. This was meant to show me that it was okay and that it wouldn't bite. When I was 13 years old, I took someone up on a dare to enter the boy's bathroom at school. There, I was put on the floor and sexually assaulted. I've mostly (mostly is the key word here) moved beyond it all. Now, I'm afraid.
Females should not be asked to give up their rights to accommodate other rights. Those are two separate issues and should be addressed as such. I don't understand the need to invade female spaces or compete with biologically different humans. This isn't about those who have had surgery, so it's not about Transwomen. This is about the penis. This is also about bad actors taking advantage of a movement to shame, degrade, and humiliate. There are incels who are using this movement for sex. There are perverts who are using this movement to gain access to female spaces. There are grown men with mental illnesses parading their genitalia in locker rooms with little children, not because these people are being genuine, but because they are predators.
I can't begin to explain the hellscape of my life after that one incident when I was 3. It was my first defining moment. I can't get it out of my head. It felt wrong and it made me feel wrong. No one made me feel that way, other than the adult in that bathroom, but I was innocent. I didn't know, nor need to know what an erect penis looked like or felt like at that age.
Does anyone remember when they were kids? Did you look in the mirror to check your hair and makeup all the time? Did you play in the dirt or have to be told it was time to take a bath? I think most of us did. Why? Because we had no concept of liking anyone in a sexual way. We don't have those hormones or think about our love interests at that age because we aren't meant to think of those things.
In our quest for dignity and our aligned goal, I hope, of protecting the innocent, I hope we can all find a common ground that protects everyone. Even if that common ground steps on our little toe a bit, can we find a compromise? Would a third bathroom for anyone be okay? Maybe locker rooms and bathrooms could be single use only? Can we ask those with penises to wear boxers or make sure all private parts are covered, same for men and women?
Please, if you genuinely feel that you are a woman, can't you use your movement to help the women and the children and the sexual abuse victims and the confused and yourselves?